Arch Nemesis

Superman has Lex Luthor.

Spiderman has the Green Goblin.

Quailman has the Klotz.

Mufasa has Scar.

Batman has everybody and their grandmother.

Every superhero has a villain.

Every protagonist has an antagonist.

Unfortunately, my arch nemesis lives in my own house.

Enter this beast.

Don't be fooled. Sure, it's fluffy and purrs.

It looks sweet, adorable, and downright harmless.

All lies.

It had me fooled.

She would come up to me and lay on my stomach on cold nights

She would rub up against me and purr, giving me warm fuzzies of happiness inside me that can only be created by looking at adorable kitties.

Right now, she's exploring my room, delightfully playing with a shoelace.

Seemingly harmless.

At first it would start when I wanted to sit on the couch and she would be laying there, giving me a look that said, Don't even try and move me. You're not worthy to sit on this couch.

These types of looks would hurt my feelings and make me feel insignificant to the world.

Then, at night, she would come and climb on my bed.

And attack my toes.

and lay on my face, trying to suffocate me in my sleep.

Then chew on my knuckles, so that I had scrapes on my hands when I woke up, not knowing what they were from.

She purposefully finds all my dark coloured clothing and sits on them so they are covered in a ridiculous amount of white cat fur.

The harassment then turned serious when I was wearing a pair of cute, dangly earrings. From out of nowhere, this ninja assassin comes and attacks my earrings and therefore, my face.

That was when I declared war.

Cleo, you may have the rest of my family and the world fooled, but I'm onto you.

Back When We Loved Each Other

If Only I Realized That Look On Her Face Was One Of Loathing

My Hero

This is the town I live in, with a kid I grew up with. The only question I ask is why I didn't think of this first:

The Viper: Masked Crime Fighter Protects Small Town Tennessee

JULY 6, 2010

tags: Columbia TN, Huh?, Super Hero

by Brian O'Connor

The residents of Columbia Tennessee can sleep safer at night knowing “the Viper” is patrolling the streets.

20 year old Christian Hardee is walking around town in tights and a mask “looking for crimes to report”.

“I’m just a guy trying to do what’s right, in tights”

Whether he’s a complete nutjob, or just a bored college student is for you to decide.

The Daily Herald: Man dons costume to fight crime.

By day, he’s a mild-mannered college student studying chemistry. But at night, he becomes the Viper, a superhero looking to stamp out crime in Columbia.

Christian Tyler Hardee, 20, caught the attention of Columbia police officers when they spotted him wearing a mask and green-and-black tights about 12:30 a.m. Wednesday near the Bicycle Shop on the Square.

But the aspiring superhero assured police he was working for good not evil. He told officers he was on the prowl in search of crime to report.

Hardee, a self-professed comic book nerd, said he knows he’s just a regular college student without super-human powers, and his behavior might be viewed as strange by some. But for Hardee, dressing as a superhero is a way to inspire the community to stand against wrongdoing and perform acts of charity.

“I am just a guy trying to do what is right, in tights,” he said.

During his patrol of Columbia, he donned under armor, carried two plastic sticks and wore a utility belt. On the belt, he stowed a screw driver, wrenches and a cell phone to quickly call police if he stumbled across crime. Officers also found ninja throwing stars inside his car parked near the Bicycle Shop, according to a police report.

Columbia Police Lt. Michelle Jones said the department does not need the assistance of a superhero to keep the city’s streets safe. She discouraged the public from patrolling the streets while dressed in costumes.

“We always encourage the public to be good witnesses but not actively get out and look for crime,” she said.

Police determined Hardee was not breaking any laws, other than a city ordinance that prohibits wearing a mask that obscures the face in public. He was advised of the ordinance and was not cited.

Jones said detectives interviewed Hardee and encouraged him to stop his patrols. Investigators are worried he could frighten the public or hurt himself or others.

Hardee said he will continue to look for crime but without the full costume. To date, he has not stumbled upon criminal activity.

The 20-year-old studies chemistry and art at Union University in Jackson. He hopes to land a job with his chemistry degree, make some money and then embark upon a career as a comic-book artist once he is financially secure.

“I am not out of touch with reality. … I am just a normal guy,” he said. “I know what happens in the movies doesn’t happen in real life.”

He also wants everyone to know he is not trying to inspire children to follow in his footsteps, and he did not don the costume in search of publicity.

“If I wanted attention, I would go streaking or something,” Hardee said.

How My Mind Works

I like Flowcharts. They happened to be more of a representation of how my mind works instead of using lists or writing paragraphs.

So in flowchart form, here's been my past week of life:

Flowcharts save a lot of excess typing

Also, I made this too:

Also, I've decided that I want to own a pet squirrel. I checked Craigslist but nothing, do I just go out and catch the little guy or is there a specialty Petsmart that I have to go to?

Had We Known Each Other, I'm Sure We Would Have Been Friends

No person likes being forgotten. Therefore, if a person comes up to me and says hello, then I pretend to know them because if they know my name, then I should at least have the decency to know their's, right? Numerous times family friends will come up to me, exclaiming how I've grown since I last saw them and ask how my mother is doing, and not knowing what to do, I simply try to keep the conversation going and pass it off as if I remembered every detail of their life.

So when I got a voicemail from an unknown number telling me how much I was missed, I freaked out. Who was this person? It left no name and the voice wasn't very distinctive. With a quick Google search, I found the area code to be in southern Ohio--no particular person that I really knew. The voicemail made it seem as if we were really good friends, but I didn't have said person's number so obviously we weren't that great of friends.

Then the number called again.

And for some reason, I answered.

And the following happened:

Me: "Hello?"

Girl: "Hey girl! What are you up to?"

Me" "Uhh...not much, just checking Facebook"

Girl: "Cool! I miss you so much!"

Me: "Thanks?"

Girl: "So, when are you going to be back in Lima?"

Me: "Huh?" (Since when did I know people in Peru?) "Ummm...who is this?" (I couldn't keep the masquerade going forever)

Girl: "Isn't this Stephanie?"

(At this point, I'm freaking out. Creepy)

Me: "Umm..yeah? But I don't think I know you."

Girl: "Stephanie...Jones?"

Me: "No, definitely not me."

(Awkward pause)

(Phone hangs up)

In retrospect, maybe sometimes I bring awkwardness upon myself.