Gentle Whisper

The LORD said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.”
   Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. 

1 Kings 19:11-13

Student teach at a school. Class. Work. Class. Quick lunch break. Work. Meeting. Three hour long class that makes me want to crawl in a hole and die. Frantically write a paper due before midnight. Meeting. More paper writing. Pull an all-nighter.

This is generally how each of my weeknights go. Going, going, going. Sleeping and eating take a backseat in lieu of schoolwork. These past few weeks I've been stretched rather thin, leaving me fearing that I'm headed for a serious burnout.

But then, in the hectic ridiculousness of my day, something happens that helps me to remember that I'm not just a machine.

Laughing with friends in hammocks.

Eating tacos and deep conversations.

Goofing off with my roommates.

In the midst of all the chaos, while I'm struggling to finish everything in my day,  desperately wishing for a little help, there's always a quiet whisper, reminding me that God's still there, knowing exactly what I need to keep me going.

Sometimes the gentle whisper can't be fully appreciated until the chaos is experienced.

Today Is Just One Of Those Days

You know those times of days.


It's been drizzling miserably all day, meaning that my hair is ridiculously frizzy


I change into warm, comfy sweatpants and walk outside for a few seconds only to find that the bottoms of my sweatpants are soaked.


I try and be nice to people, but instead I fail. 


I have no reason to be on edge, yet I am.


I should be working on a project but I just don't care about it


So instead, I spent about two pointless hours in my already crammed day to aimlessly surf the web.


I can't stop being such an angry badger.


(Honey Badgers are one of the most fearless and worst creatures to come across, especially when angry. I have a friend that refers to people as angry badgers as a more creative term for 'jerk')


___________________________


It's just one of those days, an Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day type of day.


Nothing wrong happened to set me off and in all honesty, it wasn't that bad of a day


My attitude just needs to get checked.


Then, hopefully tomorrow won't be like today,


For today can be a very dangerous type of day.

Move Over Disney Princesses, There's A New Heroine In Town

Sorry about being gone for so long, school has been rather demanding lately and I've haven't been able to sit down and write. Except today. Today's just been one of those "who needs school?" days. Anyway, a while ago, I had mentioned that I was reading Mark Twain's Joan of Arc. 


One of my favorite things about this book is that the great American writer, Mark Twain, has such an admiration and fondness for Joan that he writes about her in the same affection as one would write about their first love. The usually biting satirist was quoted saying, "I like Joan of Arc best of all my books; and it is the best; I know it perfectly well.” and considered this his most important work as Twain spent twelve years researching Joan's life. This was how he described her, 

"In the history of the human intellect, untrained, inexperienced, and using only its birthright equipment of untried capacities, there is nothing which approaches this. Joan of Arc stands alone, and must continue to stand alone, by reason of the unfellowed fact that in the things wherein she was great she was so without shade or suggestion of help from preparatory teaching, practice, environment, or experience. There is no one to compare her with, none to measure her by; for all others among the illustrious grew towards their high place in an atmosphere and surroundings which discovered their gift to them and nourished it and promoted it, intentionally or unconsciously. There have been other young generals, but they were not girls; young generals, but they had been soldiers before they were generals: she began as a general; she commanded the first army she ever saw; she led it from victory to victory, and never lost a battle with it; there have been young commanders-in-chief, but none so young as she: she is the only soldier in history who has held the supreme command of a nation's armies at the age of seventeen."

At age twelve, Joan saw her first vision, of the saints Michael, Catherine, and Margaret, telling her to drive the English out of France, who had been invading France for over ninety years. Generations had passed, and the French people had simply gotten used to living under English oppression. But Joan knew that she was called, and she never gave up hope. She had to drive the English out of France.


At age sixteen, she went to court to ask for an army. She was immediately laughed at and turned down. Yet Joan knew that she couldn't give up. So she went back.


Through her persistence, Joan of Arc found herself before the Dauphin (to be king) of France. A lowly peasant girl who didn't know how to read was meeting with the Dauphin. I can only imagine what it would be like, a young girl meeting with the President and his cabinet. She would likely be laughed at, patted on the head and told to leave the important things to the adults. 


Instead, Joan got herself an army. Historians of The Hundred Years' War write about how King Charles must have been at the last resort stage, willing to accept any offer for help, including that of a sixteen year old girl. 


Within the year, Joan had driven out all the French around her. 


She led an army, got severely injured twice (once being an arrow to the neck), and saved a nation all by the age of seventeen.


When the Dauphin, now king, asked Joan what he could give her in return for saving his kingdom, all she asked was that she could go home and that the king never tax her village.


She didn't want riches, or a lifetime of living in a castle. She just wanted her neighbors to not have to live in poverty.


And then she was captured by the English and accused of being a heretic. 


Yet, she did not lose heart.


For three months, the nineteen year old, uneducated, illiterate girl held her own in court against the best minds in England. And although Joan was convicted, later readings of the court transcripts show that the English clergy prosecuting her had doctored many of the court records, meaning that a group of over 30 of the most educated and powerful men in England had to cheat their way into winning a trial against a teenage girl.


She was burned at the stake a few days later but later was canonized by the same church who had convicted her. 


One girl. One young girl who simply heard the voice of God. 


Who believed the voice of God.


She encountered countless dragons, and through only faith, overcame every obstacle thrown in her way.


And in her small steps of obedience, she saved a nation.

"All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them...There were others who were tortured, refusing to be released so that they might gain an even better resurrection. Some faced jeers and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. They were put to death by stoning; they were sawed in two; they were killed by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated— the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, living in caves and in holes in the ground. These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised, since God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect."                                                                      Hebrews 11:13-16, 35-40

Why  more movies haven't been made about her is beyond me. 

Around The World In...11 Months?

Prayer. Prayer. Prayer.

Answer.

When I was sixteen, I told God that once I graduated high school, I would go anywhere He wanted me to go and do whatever He asked of me. I was ready to hop on a plane and serve the outcasts in a far away country to live out the rest of my days.

Then, He called me to the exotic country of the United States of America. 

That's not exactly what I was thinking. 

 A few months later, there was a last minute opportunity to be a counselor at my church's middle school summer camp, so I went.

And I loved it. 

That's when I realized that God was needing me to stay here in the United States to work with middle schoolers. 

Really God? When I said I would go anywhere and I would do anything, that's not really what I had in mind.

But God gave me a passion for teenagers and I've truly loved every minute and every opportunity that I've been given.

But still, I kinda wanted to be a missionary.

This summer, for the first time in years, I asked God if I could go out and serve people around the world.

He said yes.

Simple as that. I asked my Father for something and He agreed. Looking back, I definitely wasn't ready as a teenager. He had other things to show me and people who had to help me grow and become vulnerable with. 

So now I go. Well, after I graduate. 

In July, I'm headed out with Adventures In Missions' The World Race where I travel to 11 countries in 11 months so that I can serve all the nations of the world. Right now, I'll be headed to Bulgaria, Romania, Rwanda, Uganda, Kenya, Thailand, Malaysia, Cambodia, Nicaragua, Honduras, and Guatemala, but it will most likely change in the upcoming months.  

I'll update more later about it all when I know more exact details but I did want to let you guys know. I'm going to need a lot of prayer as I prepare for the next ten months, especially as I'll have to raise about $16,000 and having to finish off my last year of school (student teaching...grrr) but I am so excited for what's to come!

It's funny though. As soon as I come back from my crazy adventures, I'll be headed right back to where I planned: teaching middle school in America. 

God gave me a plan and I intend to follow it. But He also knew my desires and what I wanted and took that into consideration. 

I asked and received. 

That's how the Father's love works. Sometimes not how we expect, but all in His time. 

"You say you have a plan for me

And that you want the best for my life

Told me the world had yet to see

What you can do with one

That's committed to Your calling

I know of course what I should do

That I can't hold these dreams forever

If I give them now to You

Will You take them away forever?

Or can I dream again?"

--Surrender by Barlow Girl   

Is This The Real Life? Is This Just Fantasy?

Get random text message telling me to go over to my friend's place


Go over to find a dance party happening


End up dancing with the band Family Force 5


Also Bohemian Rhapsody is one of my favorite songs to sing to while in heavy traffic.


Welcome to my life. 

Blog Hopping

This week I've been guest blogging for my good friend and mentor, Amy Beth, so be sure to check out her blog (Ministry So Fabulous)! She's absolutely fantastic!

(And I enjoy making random appearances whenever I can!)

Rainy Day

You know that annoying thing that you swear you're forgetting whenever you move/travel somewhere? That thing would be my umbrella. Of course I didn't realize it until it started flooding outside.

The rain won't stop pouring down and half of the day has been spent fording rivers that suddenly sprang up along my college campus. This could be one of the few days that I have an excuse to come to class barefoot and not having to care about my appearance as everything can be blamed on the ongoing monsoon. 

The other part of my day has been spent baking bread in my warm pajamas while listening to the Lord Of The Rings soundtrack. 

Secret family recipe. 

So sacred that I keep it written down in my personal journal with my innermost thoughts