Summer Update!

So for the past 5 weeks I've been working at the most magical place in the world  where I've had the opportunity to work as a camp counselor. It's chaos 24/7 which I thrive on and I have learned to love every minute of it (even if I'm sweating constantly and am a feeding ground for insects)

Some things I've experienced so far:

• 1st day of camp we were blindfolded and led into the middle of the woods to the high ropes course where I was suspended 40 ft in the air. This wouldn't be too big of a deal except for the fact that on my list of Things I Hate The Most, Walking On Ropes comes in third right after Lasagna and Wave pools (The Nashville Zoo jungle gym freaks me out, it's one of those little kid fears that I never grew out of). 
• One of the goals of the Deer Run Staff is to destroy my fear of heights that as I have been forced off the ground an unholy amount of times.
• I live and work with some of the greatest 14 people in the world. We work great together because we're usually laughing about something and really live out 1 Corinthians 12
• Usually the first thought I have in the morning is: I AM SO SORE--thanks to the high ropes course, rock climbing tower, Leap of Faith (basically climbing up a 33 ft. tree and simply jumping down--while harnessed of course but still), and simply climbing into my bunk bed. 
• I have gained a ridiculous amount of bruises and cuts.
• I don't wear bug spray anymore because I'm pretty sure that I now just sweat bug spray and mainly because it doesn't work out here
• Therefore, I wake up every night around 4 a.m. to routinely scratch my bug bites
• Unless I'm sleeping in the rustic cabins (basically like a tent but with a wooden floor and bunk beds), then I wake up about three times a night praying to God that I don't wake up with a spider crawling on my face.
• The 1st camp we had was an overnight camp with 3rd-5th graders
• I was in a cabin with 23 little girls and 4 other female staffers
• Not too much bothers me anymore--one night I woke up to a little girl telling me she had wet the bed. Yup had to clean it up. Awesome.
• The best question a kid has asked so far: "What does cir-cum-scise mean?" from the cutest 8 year old girl ever. Not asked to me but a fellow staffer--her answer? "It makes little boys holy." If I had answered, I don't think that child would have innocence anymore.
• Our staff cabin has the best view overlooking a lake ever.
• Our lake not only has a zip line where you can fall into the lake but a blob. Like the one in the movie Heavyweights.
• There's an albino deer at camp. It's completely awesome to spot it.
• Aslan came to camp with me.
• One day the director's son, Seth, came up to me and asked me if I wanted some of his chocolate ice cream. Because the ice cream is brown and so am I. That's when I realized I love my life.
• Almost every night I stare at the stars in pure darkness and gaze at their beauty, thanking God for this opportunity.
• This past week we had a mission camp where teenagers who have lived hard lives came with the Boys and Girls Club to camp and I had five awesome middle school aged girls in my cabin. 
• One night I was able to take them out to look at the stars, something some of them have never truly experienced because they live in inner city Columbia.
• One of them accepted Christ into her life. I shared Christ with her in a canoe.
• Also thanks to my canoeing awesomeness, I have now earned the name Pookahontas
• One of my goals this summer is to catch a fish with my bare hands.
• I catch fireflies every night at dusk.
• At mission camp, I have successfully learned to pronounce ghetto black girl names like Kadeesha, Tajmah and Neeisha due to the fact that there was only one white camper.
• Mission camp was also the only camp where I wasn't asked if Pookie was my real name. It was probably accepted as fact because a camper was signed up to come whose name was Tookie. True story.
• The camp food isn't bad, except for the cheese omelets that look like narsty tacos. And the fact that we eat the same thing every week. 
• Some kids made a dance/song with the name Pookie which is now sung constantly.
• I know the Hannah Montana Hoedown Throwdown--little girls idolize me.
• I love my job. 

Pshh...I Wish There Was A Calm Before The Storm

Whew!

Tomorrow I leave for my camp job (I'm so excited!) and there's still so much packing left to do!!

My sister and I had decided this past week to go and visit our grandmother in Wheaton, Illinois so we hopped in our car and headed out on a 10 hour trip for some family time with the Vergara clan. 

The coolest thing about my grandma's house is that she lives directly on campus of a private high school, it's pretty interesting waking up and seeing a graduation ceremony on your front lawn. 

So we ate. And slept. And ate. And watched spanish soap operas while eating dessert. Then we would go to sleep around 10. 

You know, the average life for a college girl.

And I would be lying if I said that visiting family was the only reason I went to Chicago.

There's also the food. Chicago pizza is incredible, however that craving can be satisfied by calling up the local Pizza Hut. 

And then there's Italian Beef.

Delicious sizzling roast beef thinly sliced, dripping with meat juices on a thick roll, added with jalepenos for a small kick. 

It's beauty at it's finest.

And so, every two years when we visit the family, we have never failed to take a stop at Portillo's, an eatery that, among all other things Chicago-ish, serves the succulent Italian beef. 

 Trust me, it's worth driving 10 hours to eat.

And we also toured the Billy Graham Evangelical Museum, however there was no mention of the urban myth that Billy Graham went to Bob Jones College and was told he was a future failure. Or of any roads that were renamed Billy Graham Avenue. 

Myth: Busted

It's a shame--it would have been a great Hallmark Channel movie.

And so now, I'm going off to camp.

I'm excited.

But also super nervous (There's a 40 ft ropes course. I despise ropes courses.)

              Among other worries.

(I hope everything goes well, what if I'm not an effective leader? Am I prepared? I have no idea what going on, will I get along with all the other counselors? Will my relationship with my sister stop being so bipolar? Sure we love each other, but we also love to fight, I always get really nervous when I have to share the gospel--what if I mess up? Will I ever be able to fully obey God? What if I think I'm obeying God but I'm actually making a bigger mess? blah, blah, blah)

And I'm not bringing my laptop...

Cell phone service isn't the best either.

So, I'll see you guys in 10 weeks!

No Need To Say Goodbye

Listening to: The Call by Regina Spektor & Wunderkind by Alanis Morissette (two of my favorite songs)

When I was younger, I was very shy and so making friends was hard for a introverted child like myself. Our family also used to take many long roadtrips as well as me being taken to many events where I was thoroughly bored.

Thus came about the creation of my imaginary friends.

I had one who was a rather large polar bear named Bob. I’m not sure why he was named Bob but when I was at an incredibly boring event (church), I used to imagine a polar bear roaming around the congregation and what the people would do if they realized that a polar bear was sitting next to them. He was always especially fond of the baptismal area and would go for some nice swims.

There was also a lion, the one that I always wished I owned. He would simply barge in when I was sitting in class. I always hoped that one day a lion would escape from a zoo somewhere and find himself wandering into my classroom. There were no drills that we practiced in school that would help in that situation. Would you feed him a PB&J sandwich? Would the lion simply sit down in a sunny spot and listen in about the British monarchy?

There were many more as I had quite an imagination and found myself constantly daydreaming as my family would take the long trips to Illinois or California. Ethan was my good friend that always went on the best adventures while there was a girl that always understood what I was thinking about.

I think I was sixteen when my imagination started to fade, the adventures happened less and less, the stories began to disappear gradually. I started to think about things that pertained to my life instead—school, family, guys, work, my future, all worries that took over my mind.

I began to feel more like the old Professor, rather than Lucy

I honestly pushed them out of my mind until recently, when I found myself sitting in a car and staring out of a window bored. Staring through the trees, I glimpsed, for a second, one of those imaginary characters in the forest next to the highway. He was staring back at me, with a longing look to come back and continue our adventures.

Maybe we were never meant to grow up.

"Please Aslan, before we go, will you tell us when we can come back to Narnia again? Please. And oh, do, do, do, make it soon."


"Dearest," said Aslan very gently, "you and your brother will never come back to Narnia."


"Oh, Aslan!!" said Edmund and Lucy both together in despairing voices.


"You are too old, children," said Aslan, "and you must begin to come close to your own world now."


"It isn't Narnia, you know," sobbed Lucy. "It's you. We shan't meet you there. And how can we live, never meeting you?"


"But you shall meet me, dear one," said Aslan.


"Are — are you there too, Sir?" said Edmund.


"I am," said Aslan. "But there I have another name. You must learn to know me by that name.

This was the very reason why you were brought to Narnia, that by knowing me here for a little, you may know me better there."

Hola Summer!!

Summer is finally here!

I had a rather rough ending to my school year as I had 7 exams to complete before gaining some freedom in my life, but I wasn't feeling bitter towards them stealing my fun or anything:

But there's nothing a little Mountain Dew, M&Ms, Ibuprofen, and dance music couldn't handle: 

And so sweet freedom finally came and I was finished with my freshman year of college and perhaps one of the greatest years I've ever been able to experience. 

The only thing that can really describe my past year is:

Now for summertime to start!

Just waiting for summer camp to start (20 days!!)

I can already tell it's going to be a great summer: Last night I dreamt that I was hanging out with the Jonas family

--Now if only reality could be like that too!

Seriously though, I'm hoping it was a prophetic dream of some sort

But first there's some unpacking to do:

Five Years Later...

Five years ago, on April 26, 2004, my world was completely torn down when my dad passed away from a longtime liver disease. It hurt. My best friend had just died and we would never be able to go on drives and talk or work together on different projects on our farm.

 

I’ve never felt that type of pain before. I can’t really describe it to someone who hasn’t gone through that kind of grief before, but it feels as if someone had yanked my heart out and left a huge gaping hole.

 

Yet far, far, worse.

 

That was also the first day that I experienced love.

 

From the moment we were in the hospital my family was surrounded by people who loved us. They were there as we waited for news and they were there when the news turned out to be for the worse. They were with us through the passing days as we stumbled through life, trying to make funeral arrangements, calling family and simply sitting with us when words just weren’t enough.

 

“For this is the message which you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another;”         -1 John 3:11

 

One night this past summer I was staring at the stars when one of the most simple yet important epiphanies hit me square in the face: We need each other.

 

I don’t know why I never really thought about it before, when we are younger the Golden Rule is constantly taught to love your neighbor but sometimes, somewhere on the journey to adulthood we seem to forget such a simple rule. Don’t hit. Share things. Respect one another. We lose those ideals somewhere along the way when our heads get crowded with grammar structures and logarithms.

 

A great wise man (David Crowder) once stated that "Every injurious word + Every injurious deed = The Collective Weight of Human Existence." Pretty cool thoughts. I never thought about all of us connected in that way--every time we hurt each other, be it slander or abuse, we merely add to a giant burden that rests on the shoulders of the human race.

 

It’s so obvious that we forget. We need each other. Our burdens are too heavy for us to carry alone. Perhaps this is why we were given family and friends, so that we can catch a glimpse of what God is trying to tell us how much He loves us.

 

Thank you everyone. Every person who reads this has somehow made an effect on me--just reading this I know that you have taken the time to invest somehow in me. It’s not always apparent the effect we have on each other, but the effect is still there.

 

And what about God--Why would a God that is good allow for His people to get hurt? Why would there be such a thing as sorrow or pain if God really loved us?

 

Pshhh…I have no idea.

 

Sorry to disappoint.

 

Be it for reasons that are to come out of the pain, because He gives us free will, or because it is necessary, we will never truly know why bad things happen to good people. This is obvious when reading the Book of Job. Job went through far worse than I did and deserved none of it. Job, at his wit’s end, asks God why. Why the hurt, why the pain, why the grief, why could you let this happen? And the Lord merely answers, “You could never understand my ways.”

 

Job 42:1-6

 

Job speaks, “I know you can do anything and everything you like, when you like, how you like. And when you do, nobody dares get in your way. You asked me, ‘Who is this that questions me?’ I had no idea what I was talking about—it was all way too big for me to get my head round. I can’t believe I had the nerve to say to you, ‘Listen to me when I’m talking. I ask the questions, and you give the answers.’ I’d heard rumors of your reputation. Now I’ve seen you with my own eyes, and I’m dying of embarrassment at my attitude. I take it all back, every question, every accusation. Sorry. Won’t happen again.”

 

I have finally given up trying to find out the whys and (very, very reluctantly) taken up the now what?

 

The only thing I can do is trust and believe that He will take care of me. And so far He has. He has provided people who have stepped into my life and given me everything I have ever needed.

 

Perhaps God uses pain to as a reminder that there are people around us. Maybe He uses the disasters to bring people together, showing us that we all bleed the same. To remind us that we need each other.

 

I have nothing else left.

 

I am the type of person that likes to believe that everything happens for a reason. I still like to hold out for a happy ending. I believe that this has become one of them. Being able to look back, past all the confusion and wondering how the world could still keep turning, I realize how much God has used all that to create the happy ending.

 

Through death, I found life.

 

When my father’s life ended, God used that exact same second to begin my new life; a new life that, although had more struggles and sorrow than my old life, is much better as He has used the ripples from a death to create a life for me that is beyond blessed.

 

That day in the hospital I found God.

 

And yes, it still hurts

 

Yes, I secretly wish that my dad could be here with me now

 

However, I honestly wouldn’t change my life if I had a second chance

 

Because I realize now that I am one of the most blessed people in the world.                           

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”                  Genesis 50:20

All stories, even the ones we love, must eventually come to an end and when they do, it's only an opportunity for another story to begin.

-Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium

 

Making Something Out Of Nothing

Yesterday, I wrote this lesson to share with the girls at Lake Forest Middle and I think it was for me just as much as it was for the girls. 

I know the plans that I have for you, declares the LORD. They are plans for peace and not disaster; plans to give you a future filled with hope. Then you will call to me. You will come and pray to me, and I will hear you.When you look for me, you will find me.          (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

The Bible always talks about people such as Moses and David who were commanded by God to do something really awesome, like be leaders for entire nations and be kings, but did you know that God could use you to be leaders just like them? Sometimes it feels like we are nothing special, and that God could never use us to do great and amazing things like lead people out of slavery or become a king but looking through the Bible shows that the people that God used to become great were everyday people like you and me.  

When Samuel was asked by God to choose one of Jesse’s sons to become the next king, Samuel first wanted to appoint Eliab, the oldest of Jesse’s eight sons but God tells Samuel:

"Don't look at his appearance or how tall he is, because I have rejected him. God does not see as humans see. Humans look at outward appearances, but the LORD looks into the heart."  (1 Samuel 16:7)

The Lord wasn’t looking for a strong person or someone good-looking, but for someone who had the right heart, someone who followed God’s obedience. Samuel went through seven of the brothers before God chose the youngest, David. Not even David’s own dad, Jesse thought there was anything special about him, as he was the youngest and the Shepard, something no one else in the family wanted to do. But God used David to defeat the giant Goliath and become the greatest king of Israel.

There are many other examples of people in the Bible that many people wouldn’t think that they could be great leaders but God used them to show that He uses people who, to the world, may look like they are nothing special but God used them to be something great. Moses had a stuttering problem and was afraid to speak but God still used him to speak to the Pharaoh of Egypt and Moses leaded thousands of Israelites out of slavery. Gideon was farming when God told him to lead an army of 300 against an army that numbered in the thousands. Gideon, a farmer boy, who at first doubted God, ended up defeating the huge army and saving the Israelites. In fact, the Bible even says that when people saw Jesus, they didn’t think He was important:

“He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and thought him as scum.”                                    (Isaiah 53:2-3) 

Not even Jesus looked like a king and He turned out to be the Savior for the world. In 1 Corinthians, it tells us that we can be used too, even if we don’t think we’re anything important:

Brothers and sisters, consider what you were when God called you to be Christians. Not many of you were wise from a human point of view. You were not in powerful positions or in the upper social classes. But God chose what the world considers nonsense to put wise people to shame. God chose what the world considers weak to put what is strong to shame. God chose what the world considers ordinary and what it despises-what it considers to be nothing-in order to destroy what it considers to be something.                                                 (1 Corinthians 1:27-31)

God will choose ANYBODY that is willing to follow what He tells them. In Hebrews 11, it tells of all the people in the Bible who achieved great things through God even though at the time, people around them called them outcasts.

And to be honest, being used by God can be kind of scary too. Imagine if you had to speak to an entire country about all the bad things they had done. The good thing is that God is always there with us; He doesn’t abandon us.

In the book of Jeremiah, Jeremiah is a prophet chosen by God but he was scared because he wasn’t sure of what to say to the entire nation of Israel. But God tells Jeremiah:

“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.”  “O Sovereign Lord,” I said, “I can’t speak for you! I’m too young!” The Lord replied, “Don’t say, ‘I’m too young,’ for you must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you.  And don’t be afraid of the people, for I will be with you and will protect you. I, the Lord, have spoken!”  Then the Lord reached out and touched my mouth and said, “Look, I have put words in your mouth!”                                                        (Jeremiah 1:5-9)

It’s such a great thing to learn that God has chosen us for amazing plans! In Isaiah, God tells the prophet Isaiah, 

 I have taken you from the ends of the earth and called you from its most distant places. I said to you, 'You are my servant. I've chosen you; I haven't rejected you. Don't be afraid, because I am with you. Don't be intimidated; I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will support you with my victorious right hand. (Isaiah 41:9-10)

It’s also interesting to know that even the prophets were scared about the same things that we are, such as being laughed at or not having anybody believe us. But God tells us to not be scared because He is right next to us to strengthen us and help us when we are scared. Through God, we have the power to change the world, we just need to believe that God can use us and not doubt in Him. Even though we are young does not mean that God can’t use us because 1 Timothy 4:12 says:

Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.

When we have faith that God can do awesome things then He will begin to use us. Sometimes, it starts off by just being nice to someone in class or obeying your parents, but those small things will add up until we realize that we have been doing great things all along! Mother Teresa, someone who did really great things through God, once said, “In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love.” So start today by believing that God can use you, and start asking Him what you can do.  

It's A Glorious Day Today...

Today was just that type of day that I knew was going to be horrible. It started at 1 in the morning when I realized that I had a exam the next morning in my hardest class. After studying, I finally ended up snuggling under the covers for a few short 4 hours of shut-eye. 

I was getting worn out. 

I just wanted to leave everything behind and forget about all the troubles of the world.

But life just doesn't stop like that.

I finished my exam, but only because I had to. I finished quickly because I didn't care about the resulting grade, I just wanted to be done. 

I went to class because I had to and I spent every minute of it counting down until I could leave. 

I just wanted this day to be done.

But we can't just float through life apparently. We have to live it.  

And so while I was sitting with some middle school girls, God gave me a glorious day, to help me remember that even if it's a rough day, it's still a day and it still deserves to be lived. 

And so little moments made my day spectacular:

• Bonding with some of the girls at the after-school program, Sparkle, that I help out in by singing the Jonas brothers
• Finding a four-leaf clover when I wasn't even looking for one
• "Family Time" with Tharp Hall

Yes, family time with the most beautiful girls ever. The girls that I share my life with and almost every waking moment together. Tonight we simply got to tell each other how much we appreciate one another. We all love each other very much but after living together, one starts to forget that we need each other and that we all need encouragement. The lesson I got out of this and some other similar moments that happened are meant for another day but the love that filled the room was undeniable. It felt like a never-ending chick-flick with the happy ending happening over and over again. Or that I had eaten Joy Pop Rocks and they were exploding in my heart. 

It was a good day, I'm glad that I decided to live today.